Second chances
by ChiisanaAnisa
Summary: Kagome is now 25 and regrets not having a happy ending. One day a patinet comes to her and awakes that hope of having it. But she must remember that nothing is what it seems... A happy ending as requested COMPLETE. Thanks to my readers!
1. Talking out

Disclaimer: Nope.

"Second chances"

By Chiisana Anisa

Even as she gazed out the window from her big, cozy seat she couldn't help but sigh by remembering who her next patient was. Quickly scanning her memory card in her busy brain she found out she had absolutely no idea of who exactly was her next patient. She turned around swiftly in the chair, and buzzed her secretary.

"Miss Nayamo, who is next on the schedule?"

Polite, but strained voice was heard from the speaker. "Miss Higurashi, I told you I don't know. The man got in on recommendation from your brother, but he refused to say his name. He is due in five minutes."

Rolling her eyes, Kagome mentally slapped herself, recalling her brother this morning when he warned her about this particular visit, about a friend from a friend that needed some help. And she has of course, totally forgotten about it. "Thank you Miss Nayamo. Let him in when he arrives."

She shut off the speaker and once again turned to the window. The feel of warm sun rays on her skin made her sleepily close her eyelids, and so she did, just to enjoy for a minute. But as soon as they were closed, a swamp of memories flooded her mind. Memories of a certain group containing seven members, sometimes. A group on its way to the greatest adventure of their lifes, dangerous, scary, and desperate in some points of view, but an adventurous nonetheless.

An adventure similar to ones she read at home, at that certain point of time of her life, but with one exception. This tale, her own, precious, private one didn't have a happy ending. And that made her never touch books about faerie tales again, the end leaving her with a broken heart.

Oh God, just how much time has passed since she saw them all! The last time was when she was eighteen and finishing high school. Now, she is a well known psychotherapist, or 'doctor for the soul' like her grandpa used to call her before he passed away. In a quick count, she found whole seven years have passed. And still.. it pained her so...

She was brought back from her musings when she heard the click of doors at closing. She did flinch at the sound, but didn't turn. She could hear the person move around the room before laying down on the sofa. This man was obviously in a hurry, other patients were usually nervous and walked around, fidgeting constantly when sitting down. And by her presumption, she wasn't the first doctor this man visited. His aura was too calm, and he knew what to do and how. She was ready to turn around, but firm voice stopped her.

"No need for that. You could comfortably remain sitting there, and I will just enjoy myself here on this soft thing, whatever you call it."

For a moment the voice reminded her of someone particular. Her whole body shook from the thought that he could be laying there. Once again her senses reached out, to the man and she found herself drowning in the power given away by his aura. Unfortunately, he had no traces whatsoever of one, for now unnamed, dog-demon's aura. Yes the fierceness was here, the power, the eagerness, even the eternal sadness. But then again, other aspects were too differnet to match so it was impossible to even think about it.

"Well then, tell me why are you here?" Her voice now sounded formal, the result of practice from the years. Solid and all business like. Years made her thicker than a stone. Maybe it was only because she didn't show her soft side in the public that much after she came back. Always it rose a question in her, why should she.. if it didn't help her to keep her lover by her side?

"Because of a woman."

She smiled, thinking how it always was either a woman, or a man, depending on the gender of the patient, and of course it always was a love problem. "Isn't it always like that Mr....?"

"Oumaru."

What a strange surname, even if it was Japanese, she thought. It was rare, actually she didn't think she heard of it till now.

"Can I?" She shivered. Even the voice held that power she felt moments ago. He's probably someone very important, holding all the strings in his hands. A man was maybe an agent, or politician. Someone very important, were the words that moulded over in her head, in a manner that the pricking at her miko powers went almost unnoticed.

Finally, feeling it Kagome shook her head, dark locks falling around her face and on her shoulders with movement. She leaned as far as possible in the chair, getting ready for a long story she knew was to come and tried to smooth out the excitement her body felt with the sensations flowing through her veins. Odd, because for once she is sure she didn't sense something so strong for a long period of seven years. The sudden sound of someone talking made her flinch again and quickly she clamped down on her powers.

"It all started when I was fifteen. I was young and naive. I thought I'd found love, but time proved later how very much wrong I was."

"What do you mean by that?" She didn't bother with writing this down, in the proper manner. This was just one more of the usual: 'Dr. the biggest love of my life left me, I realized it just now, what should I do?'; situations. She figured she had to stop talking with herself and that it was time to listen.

"You see, she was pretty. That's for sure. She was a very kind person. But also very reserved, always analysing too much. She kept things to herself, buried them within. If things weren't done her way, they wouldn't be done at all. Then... you could say she really did fall in love with me..."

Kagome couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with this picture. What kind of a person was this man, and further more this woman, who sounded so mysterious? What was here so wrong if they loved each other?

"Tell me Mr. Oumaru, why do you think there was a problem?"

"She died."

All that managed to escape her mouth was one intelligent "Oh".

"Yes, we planned to be together, to cross all borders that came from our sides of the world, and try to live happily ever after. But someone tricked us, lead us in a mischievous plot and destroyed the trust we had. It all turned upside down, and she blamed me for her death. And wanted revenge."

Kagome blinked. Why did this story sound so familiar? The tricking part, the faltered trust, revenge... Then in shined on her. Of course, the story of her life... or should she say - her former life? She noticed the way man choose his words carefully, and it seemed that his story was learned by heart and mind, as if he had practised it. But the words he spoke were gentle and cautious, picked out. It made her think he was avoiding the bigger part of the story. 

"Then, later, a new woman came into the picture. She looked alike to this first woman, but only by looks. Almost the same face, the same figure... the spirit was different. The second one had that kind of soul that attracted people to her. She gave her heart and trust easily away to anyone who wanted it. And she didn't seem to know the real meaning of the words hate and despise. She was what I would call 'a happy person'. I realized with time, I fall in love with her. But that's were everything started to go wrong."

She coughed, interest for the story of his life rising momentarily. She had an odd feeling that he was talking about her life story. "Excuse me for interrupting, but didn't you say that all went wrong when the first woman died?"

If she was looking at the man, she would see his glare at her. His voice became more gruff, like velvet, bouncing of the walls. Deep and it sounded uncaring.

"No. The first woman brought only trouble to my life. I know, trust me." She laughed inwardly to his words. Did he or did he not come here, for her to judge on that?

"The happy one found out about the first one. She found out everything, and then believed I fell in love with her because she reminded me so much of the first one. That I really didn't love her for herself, but because she came as a sort of replacement."

Once again, the bitter laugh rang in her head. Oh yes, now she felt like someone wrote a script and this guy had to present it to her. Another idea occurred in her head... was this some youkai that heard of her in the past... lived till now... No, that would be to strange.

"Do continue."

The man took a deep breath before continuing. "We fought, although that was nothing new to us, and to the people around us. We fought a lot, over small things. But this time, we really had a fight. She left. That is the problem. She left seven years ago and since then I didn't get the chance to explain everything to her. To reassure her how much I loved her and still do, how much she meant to me. That the first one died, and that she is buried in the past."

Kagome sat silent, thinking. The scenario really was so painfully the same. The whole thing with her, Inuyasha and Kikyou. How much it reminded her. She went away, jut like that, after a fight with Inuyasha, only two weeks after the Shikon no Tama was completed. One question popped in her head, but it was more for her than for him.

"What he would do if she was to go back?"

The man didn't answer for a minute. One long minute, in which Kagome kept on thinking if it was even worth going back after all this years. Then the man spoke again, softer tone entering his voice, yet mournfull.

"If she was to come back... I would probably be the happiest man alive. I would apologise and try to explain. And if she wouldn't believe me, then so be it. But if I could only get one more chance..."

The silence set on once again. She could hear the man breathing, slowly drawing in and out breaths of air, and him moving on the sofa. Kagome looked out, into the nature again, her thoughts travelling. 

"Tell me Dr. Higurashi, could I ask you one personal question?"

She felt startled, but the question slowly processed it's way through her mind. It surely came unexpected, like always but she got used to it. Patients always had questions about her. "If it's not too personal, yes."

"Did you ever fall in love? Really, really fall in love? Even if it was just one-sided?"

Once again, she blinked. What? That left her pondering for a while. Didn't she think about it all the time before? When she would come home in tears because Inuyasha was with Kikyou again, and she felt her heart breaking. When she came home and used to cry herself to sleep for almost a month, thinking how he will never be able to love her as Kagome... Or when she had lost him forever? She didn't realize she was speaking, and when she did it was already too late. The words came on their own.

"If I got it right, something unreturned, wrong and with no future happened to you, in the age it shouldn't have. But let me tell you something. Yes I really did fall in love. You could say I'm still in love with the same man. My story is much similar to yours, in fact."

"Really?"

"Mm. My love lived like a flower on a unfertile soil, despite everything that lasted, despite all common-sense that whispered 'no'. In that period of love, there was many short, beautiful moments like waking up on loved-ones shoulder, but it was still one-sided, and without respond. However I would give my life for it, a part of my body for it. To cut it down, it would be like destroying myself, ripping apart my soul."

"You really loved him that much?"

"Yes. I still do, as I've said. But my love was silent, and I carried it around with me so that no-one would knew. Oh, people did knew, but he didn't, or maybe he did. Later when we sort of confessed, it was ok, but not for long. We had too short time on our hands to make up for all the time we passed. I think none found out about our nights, which coloured my mornings in beautiful colours I still remember today. Now, I can only suffer when I remember, maybe even he does, I'm not sure."

The stranger dropped in. "So you had a sort of secret relationship with him?"

What a relationship! They used to sneak out and spend the nights alone, in the highest tree, cuddling, softly whispering words of endearment to each others ears, smiling with happiness and desperately trying to forget that it could end as quickly as it has started.

"Yes. I gave him myself, all of me. And he gave me the same back, but without the part that still loved the other one. I know love is the most gorgeous state of mind one can be in, so even if it did happen to me in a wrong set of time, I don't mind. I think one should then hold it like a precious treasure in his/hers hands, not to let it slip away. And when it does, it is nice to know I had it, that I was loved for that amount of time. Really loved."

The man got up, she judged by the rumbling sounds and walked to the doors. Then the steps stopped. She thought of turning around, to see the man who left such big impression on her nerves, but remembered his plea of secrecy. She complied.

"Tell me one more thing, Dr. Higurashi. If you were given that second chance - what would you do?"

She didn't even think on the answer, she thought about it long and hard before. "I wouldn't let it slip away so easily, and over such a petty fight ever again. I would hold him and I would never dream of letting him go. Too bad the world doesn't work that way."

The man sighed, and by the sound of it, gripped the door hand, opening it. "Yes, neither the past works that way... I thank you for your help, Dr. Higurashi."

"I'm here to help." Was her instant reply, also learned throughout the years.

For the first time, the man chuckled, in a pleasant and rich voice. The air carried it around, and slowly it drifted to her, clouding her senses. Once again she found herself reluctantly thinking about the past. The laughter died down, and soft words were left in the room before she heard the doors closing.

"You were always the one to help others, Koiishi..."

Kagome turned around with a jump, and her legs carried her like a feather across the room. Stressed out she opened the doors and only managed to catch a glimpse of that man. What did he call her? Koiishi? No-one called her that since... since Inuyasha. No-one but him would ever be privileged to call her that.

The image of one broad shoulders, dressed in a dark coat implanted in her mind, the picture spoiled, because she didn't have a face with it. She all but ran to her secretaries desk, startling poor Miss Nayamo.

"Tell me, what was the colour of that man's eyes?" She blurted out.

Miss Nayamo, a bit stunned, blinked at her boss. "I don't know. He had sunglasses on. I'm sorry, was it something important?"

Kagome left when she heard the word sunglasses. Miss Nayamo registered the doors slowly closing after her small figure, and the steps echoing on the stairs. Kagome ran all the way down to the parking lot, fleeting out of the building and found herself standing there completely alone.

The first thought that entered her head was 'Stupid!', but she didn't bother with it. She knew from the first moment when that man came in that something was terribly off on him. His aura, the story, the way he talked and laughed... All the time as if giving her hints and she didn't recognise them. She was more than eighty percent sure that that was Inyuasha. She only wondered why he didn't tell her, why did he dance around with that story and most of all . . . why did he leave?

Finally anger started building up inside of her, but sadness gripped at her heart. Was that really him, was he really here? Wouldn't he be obliged to show himself to her after all.... wasn't that what he was supposed to do? When someone of his kind lost his soul-mate, wasn't he supposed to die searching for her... wasn't that what mates would do...?

Sobs gathered in her chest, and painfully raised up, tears slowly starting to spill over the edges of her eyes and travelling down her face, onto her shirt. With no strength she kneeled on the hard floor of the parking lot, her mind too full of questions she would never get answered. Numbness tried to take over her mind, to overwhelm her soul together with false hoping and silently she cursed herself for delusions, and him for... everything.

Then the words he spoke came back to her like an unannounced blizzard. "I would apologise and try to explain..." Bitterly she thought he just did, if it really was him up there in the office. Sad smile graced her face, maybe she will never know. She even dared to go that far to scowl at herself for not turning around to see him when he was leaving. Instead, she sat still. New tears formed and she raised her hand to clutch something around her neck, now with no use for years.

"And I would have forgiven you Inuyasha... I already did..."

She got up, her eyes once again scanning the area around her. But her senses gave away nothing, no particular aura was detected. She dusted off her clothes and with a face of a crying clown set her heavy steps on the route back to the building, and to her old life. She never believed in second chances anyway...

She just wasn't that lucky.

AN: End. Yup. Maybe not if I get more than 10 reviews. No not a blackmail, but I'm tired of writing and not getting enough reviews to contiune my stories. After all I write them for you to read and say if they are any good. I'm not joking. Well... Ja ne.


	2. Wounded

**Disclaimer: No, not yet. **

**"Second chances"**

**By Chiisana Anisa**

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**"Wounded"**

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Why do people say _"bare every wound, just not the wound of heart"? _There is no real love, just love. Love by itself isn't a trick, for it wouldn't be love then. So what is it? A chance to get hurt?

Those were the thoughts of Kagome Higurashi as she slowly drove to her house, the old Higurashi Shrine. She stayed there with her entire family, not feeling the need to move out and try to live on her own. She took a deep breath, remembering the death of her grandpa, whose life ended with an unfortunate fall from the top of the Shrine steps. He was old and they constantly warned him not to do heavy work by himself, but stubborn as he was he refused to listen.

Now, her mother and her brother kept each others company, although Souta did announce he was moving out this Autumn, with his friend. So it would be just her and Mom. Can it ever get so lonely? Her thoughts returned to the man from the office, her mind still trying to make a decision if that really was Inuyasha or not. And back were the thoughts of love...

She kept asking herself what does it really mean to love? When you love someone, but that someone doesn't love you - what then? Hasn't she been there and done that? Isn't that the way you get your hearts wound..? All she knew was the fact that in front of the face of love, you are helpless, because it can be like a mysterious sickness: it will torture you before you get better, you love with no hope. It isn't a trick, there isn't no hidden mirror, or a deep hole behind it's meaning. And if it's there - it's all in the sense of moonlight and medieval dances.

Like she had said to that stranger, you have to be careful with it, not to let it run away, you have to feed it with sweet words, pamper her, and caress her so it wouldn't fly away like a frightened bird of your palm. Love can be mysterious, demanding, capricious, deadly, vulnerable, sensitive to the work of sweeten words and their imaginative murmur, proud and pragmatic. Those are just few of the many faces of love. So there you have it, one coulded with more secrets than the other, who knows which one is the right one? Still it is better to love and lost, than never to love at all.

Because of that certain fact, love brings great risk with it, but what would we do without it? Even with too many faces we are drawn to it like bees to honey. Once or twice in your life you will hear the fluttering of your heart and feel your knees shaking. Then you will know that you have just been introduced to love, or rather with one of it's many faces. Sadly that she was introduced with the worst one - the impossible one.

Kagome slowed down upon seeing that she arrived, her trip spent away so quickly on her troubled thoughts. She went up the stairs and like every time, shivered with the memory of her grandpa. There was light in the kitchen, and it fell on the right part of the yard so she decided to enter on that side otherwise she would have to search for the keys and the lock. Opening the doors, quiet "Tadaima" sounded out, but her mother probably knew it was her.

Once inside the safety of her house, her damp broke again and her vision was flooded with tears, big and white, tracing down her cheeks, one after the other. She didn't make a sound, only collapsed on the chair by the table, bringing her head in her hands. Putting her hair back, she sighed and then heard her mother speaking to her.

"Hello Kagome. How was your day...?" Bekka turned around to face her daughter like every night, but the image that greeted her wasn't welcoming at all. Her daughter sat there, reminding her on the remains of a brought down castle, something torn in the vicious wreckage. She was a mess, and like any other mother it was up to her to make it all better if she could. She approached her broken looking girl, sat by her and slowly caressed her hair.

"What happened? A tough case..?"

At that words Kagome flung herself into her mothers lap, not a bit ashamed she was 25 years old. She was and always will be her mothers little girl. The sobs only increased and everything Bekka managed to hear was one word repeated few times. And as soon as she heard it, she hugged Kagome even tighter, some of her own tears spilling over. Sometimes she knew that the past had to bite you back when you least expected it. They sat there for who knows how long, both crying, sharing the pain of a loss so great they would never forget it.

Bekka knew what her daughter was going through, after all she lost her husband, and she wasn't that blind not to notice that the connection between Inuyasha and Kagome became stronger than ever after their quest was finally over. She had hoped it would last, but it didn't. And she also never found out the reason why they fought... The saddest thing was that the Time in the Well thought something was terribly wrong and sealed it as soon her daughter came through. For how knows what time the questions about that fight rolled around in her mind, but she stopped worrying over it, hearing the sighs Kagome was letting out. And always after one word...

_"Inuyasha..."_

Next morning was dark and gloomy, the clouds completely covering the sky not letting the Sun pierce through them. Kagome didn't protest, it suited her mood. She felt the coldness on her skin and she felt it from the inside. For the first time after so many years of trying to forget how it felt, she felt alone. Completely and utterly alone.

She didn't blame herself nor Inuyasha for it. She didn't blame them for being alone. She knew what she was committing to when she agreed to be with the hanyou. They loved forever, inu-youkai's. They mated for life, so in her life now there was no place for any other male being. True, she did broke poor Hojo's heart, giving him only the excuse it wasn't his fault. But since then she refused to interact with men, in any way possible. Her heart was taken, then and now. That was the reason it pained her so damn much to hear those words yesterday. Koiishi... Was it really him?

She pondered again about all the possibilities. Deciding she was giving herself a headache, with heart-fallen sigh she got up from the warmness which the bed provided and stammered towards the bathroom. She looked like a mess, she said to herself after seeing her disturbing image in the mirror.

Dark bags under her eyes from all the crying last night, her hair like a long forgotten nest, her face deathly pale. Inside she felt a bit dead, like she lost something very important to her just over the night. The feeling wasn't strange to her and it wasn't the first time she saw her reflection like this. It only saddened her more that she had to see it again. Throwing away the towel she stepped out of the bathroom, thanking the God's it was weekend, she didn't think she would be able to cure anybody today, at least herself.

Her heart fluttered wildly in her chest when her look disappeared out the window and when she thought something red glistened in the trees outside. Hope rose to quickly in her broken spirit and she all but ran downstairs and out of the house, one name frozen on her lips.

"Inuyasha!" It rang in the fresh air of the upcoming morning. She yelled it to more times before it finally sunk that her imagination played with her. Again.

With shoulders slumped back she walked back to the house, her mother watching her from the kitchen's window, great sadness written on her face. Her daughter, her little girl was doomed never to find peace in love. Her heart was broken, but impossibly taken by someone who will never be able to take care of it. Hearing the soft steps coming towards her she put her good smile on to welcome Kagome.

"Honey will you eat something?"

Kagome waved away with her head. "No, I think I'm taking a walk around the Shrine. I'm going to light a candle for grandpa."

Bekka nodded. She needed something else to keep her mind occupied. "Sure. Do that. The food will wait for you when you come back. I'm going to a friends place, I promised last week. Is that all right?"

Kagome knew her mother worried, but she was glad her mother had someone to turn too. "Go ahead. I'll see you later." She said, walking out and on her way grabbing the sweater, thinking it will help her warm up all this coldness she felt. Her mother watched her go, her thoughts returning to that mysterious fight...

Kagome walked slowly, step by step, taking in the scenery around her. It was a long time since she took a walk around the grounds. Passing by the Goshinboku she felt shiver pass her, but didn't even want to pay attention to it, she only quickened her steps. In a minute, sooner than she thought she was inside the Shrine, lighting up the candle. Her thoughts were lost in the prayers and for the first time in a whole day she didn't think of Inuyasha.

Inside the house Bekka searched for her purse, not paying attention to the squeaks that could be heard upstairs. She didn't hear them until they sounded to loud for not to miss them. Turning around she wanted to scream before one hand clasped onto her mouth and with the other hand she was ordered to follow the intruder to the kitchen. As soon as they were in, the hand removed itself. She didn't say a thing at first, she was too stunned. Then the wheels in her head turned and she squealed.

"God woman, you're just the same as your daughter!" Gruff voice sounded out.

"You scared me!" She defended herself. "And you did sneak around... Wait. Why didn't you..?"

"No. Not yet."

"Well young man you have one more chance. I'm going away for the next few hours and if you don't tell Kagome you're hear don't expect me to ever again lay my eyes on you. Understood?" Her voice was a bit harsh, maybe even cold, but you could clearly read the warmness it gave away underneath.

"Do you think...?"

"Yes. Just do it. One chance, the second one. Use it well." Bekka turned around and went out. Young man as she called him, looked nothing like young at all. He sighed, and looked out the window. Hard mission was ahead of him, but like any other he will just have to make due. Like always. He walked to the living room and sat down, leaning back on the sofa. All he had to do was wait. He waited long enough he could wait this out too.

Kagome stood up, and bowed to her grandfathers memorial board. All the good wishes made her rethink about all the good times and she remembered when she came back for the first time from the Sengoku Jidai. It was her beloved grandpa who's arms she had thrown herself into and cried like there was no tomorrow. It was her grandpa who warned her constantly not to give away her heart so easily, he knew all the dangers mating with youkai, or a hanyou in this case, brought. He knew and still he let her do as her heart ordered. Tears welled up in the corners of her big blue orbs and with heavy steps she followed her route to the house.

Lost in her memories she unlocked the doors and wiped away the tears, leaving only tracks of tears on her face, similar to ones the rain left on the windows after the storm, to slowly slide down. Her vision clearing she looked around and her senses went up, as a warning. But this time it was more a warning of breaking her heart than any other danger. Her eyes landed on one figure so dear to her, so special in her life that she thought irony was playing tricks on her.

Tears went on again, and she screamed in herself for them to stop torturing her. One familiar set of eyes pierced through hers, and although her heart and trained miko senses whispered that the picture before her was real, her mind too troubled decided to neglect those whispers.

That special wound on her heart, which ripped apart more and more with each passing day opened up further. _Who said that heart can't break? Who said love wasn't just an illusion? _That thoughts passed through her head, and she was ready to step over the edge and scream, cry and fall apart for a long time... all these acts stopped when that 'unreal' figure finally uttered her name in a soft tone, softest than any she ever heard. In a tone full of regret and ever lasting love.

"Koiishi.."

Only then she looked up. Only then she could tell herself that the dreaming part was finally over. Was luck finally on her side...?

**TBC**

_AN: Bekka is an original Japanese name, and I used it here as the name of Kagome's mother. It seemed a bit silly to me to use "Mom" all the time. Sorry._

_The next part will be the last one. I can't guarantee completely happy ending, but I'll do my very best. I thank all of my reviewers from the bottom of my heart. Thank you._

_Anisa_


	3. Second chances

**Disclaimer: **Would anyone really believe me if I said yes? Didn't bloody think so. Neither do I own the song "The closest thing to crazy" from Katie Melua.

**"Second chances"**

**By Chiisana Anisa**

**"Melding the broken"**

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* * *

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_How can I think I'm standing strong?_

_Yet feel the air beneath my feet._

_How can happiness feel so wrong?_

_How can misery feel so sweet?

* * *

_

After all the time spent grieving about the past, now I was grieving that it didn't stay there.

The evening was cold, as predicted. The coffee inside my favorite cup was already cold, like the fresh air in the winters morning. And my mind completely on point blank. Mother called in on late, telling she was going on a dinner with her friends, which suited me perfectly. I really needed time to think to myself, to decide what next.

I have been sitting here for the past two hours, staring out the window. The rain stopped falling half an hour ago, and I found it sad it did. Before, while it lasted I had a feeling I'm not crying alone. But alas, my tears have long gone dry. The blanket around me slipped down more, revealing my shoulders and bringing the coldness closer to my body.

What was I supposed to do?

I didn't know which decision was the right one. My good heart whispered that I should listen to it, to do something selfish for my self, just this time. My mind told me that it would be idiotic to listen to my heart, and my inner miko told me to do as I please. Big help... Still, something told me that I was going to choose my heart... It was time to meld it back and give myself a chance of finally being lucky in my life. It was really about damned time.

**Flashback**

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That dreadful tears finally subsided and my circle of seeing spread. It wasn't a dream, he was really sitting there, like so many times before, casual style like no years, seven even, passed. I felt wounded, and excited and... sorrowful. When my heart finally accepted that this picture before me is real I've let my mind go free wandering off, to give it some time to collect itself. I wasn't however, entirely sure if that was the smartest thing to do.

So because of that, his name appeared on my swollen lips, and it rolled out slowly, almost painfully, and it felt wrong to say it and for him to really be here to hear it.

"Inuyasha.."

He got up, in a motion so familiar. I watched him carefully, observed him like a painting that has deserved my utter attention for its beauty and grace. He remained the same, with slight changes. His height grew even more, but his hair stayed the same. The silky mane cascaded down his back in the same unruly manner it always has. His body, I could say, developed a bit more, his muscles spreading. But his eyes were the ones that draw the most attention.

They were old.

* * *

_How can you let me watch you sleep? _

_Then break my dreams the way you do._

_How can I have got in so deep?_

_Why did i fall in love with you?

* * *

_

An emotion she never expected to see in his eyes, yet she's looking at it right now. Odd reflection of an old man's eyes showed in those more gold than amber orbs, it swam inside, circling and for a moment she thought they are trying to hide from her. Why did his eyes look so old?

She could also detect joy for seeing her again, the same it was in her eyes, probably. But besides oldness, another emotions swirled. Like sorrow, or remorse... something close to pitifulness. She didn't like it.

"What are... How did.. Inuyasha?"

Questions that built up in her brain didn't make sense whatsoever, she just couldn't make one reasonable sentence. He didn't look very different.

"I... The Well..." He stammered. It wasn't easy for him either. Will she be angry? Will she accept him again? Most importantly - did she wait for him?

"I'm here Kagome."

Those words were all it took for Kagome to jump and throw herself into his tall frame, clinging hands around his neck, and short puffs of air on his chest, mingling with tears. "I'm so glad!"

His hands encircled her small body bringing her close, so close. He held her strongly, the thought of never letting go playing in his mind. He missed her more than the air itself, and she was the _'IT' _in his life. The one thing he would die and cry for. He let himself enjoy in her closeness, breathing in her scent, fresh as the spring like it always was, bit of saltiness in it from all the cried tears. But it was hers and it was very dear to him.

Kagome on the other hand, breathed his scent also, her hands clasping even tighter around his neck, her fists grabbing his hair and pulling. But he didn't protest. Her hands ached to touch his silver ears, but now it was more important to convince her mind that they were finally together.

Moments passed before they managed to recollect themselves. When they pulled away a big, happy smile stretched its way across both of their faces and Kagome motioned for Inuyasha to sit back down. She was very well aware they still had a lot to work and figure out. The past really brought only problems for them.

"First tell me how you got here." She wanted to know. How come he succeeded where she had failed?

Inuyasha held her hands and he knew it would hurt her what he had to say. He had enough of breaking her heart, of course he knew she was a strong woman, but sometimes too much was too much.

"I would like to apologize first, Koiishi." She smiled again upon hearing his endearment for her. She was explained that was the way mates called each other, especially males their females. She liked it just because those little words made her feel more than special.

"I have already forgiven you Anata."

* * *

_This is the closest thing to crazy_

_I have ever been._

_Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen._

_This is the nearest thing to crazy_

_I have ever known._

_But I was never crazy on my own._

_And now I know_

_That there's a link between the two,_

_Being close to craziness, and being close to you

* * *

_

Inuyasha grinned. So she didn't forget, he thought. And she had no idea how much hope it brought him to hear it. For what was to come was far more graver than all the sweet words. "I know. But listen. I will tell you everything you ask of me... It _**will**_ hurt you. Do you really want to hear it?"

Kagome blinked and breathed in hard. What made him so tense? Did really something so terrible happen that brought him such pain to even talk about it... "I want to know. Tell me how you got here."

He said only one word and her world came tumbling down. "Kikyou." That dreadful name that brought panic and misery to her for most of her teenage years. Something brutal cut at her heart and she felt cold. She trembled, like icy hands traveled over skin lightly on the surface rising the hairs on her hands. Inuyasha noticed.

"Are you all right?"

No, she wasn't all right! How was she supposed to be all right?! Her eyes settled on his, the look in them giving him a picture of a damaged heart. "Kagome, let me explain... _Please_."

Although she didn't want to hear another word, no matter that she said she did, now it sickened her to death. She nodded her head numbly, her gaze lovering at his hands still holding hers. Terrible thoughts of him holding Kikyou flew through her head and she felt bitterness.

"You really don't have to worry about her. She made it possible for me to come by sacrificing herself. She gave away all of her powers, the ones she had left to open up the Well for me to pass, to come back to you."

Something cruel picked up in her, floating from her stomach to her head and anger appeared. When she spoke her voice sounded malicious. "But why now? Why not seven years ago?!" She rose from her seat and stood before him while he looked at her sudden change of mood confused.

"Well... I couldn't find her. I looked for her because I knew she was the only one who could help me. But she vanished and was nowhere to be found. We all searched for her, and looked forward to any news about her for a long, long time. But as the days passed we all started believing she was dead. So my hope died, and years passed..."

Kagome now felt a bit guilty for being able to anger her nerves to quickly, for judging him before she heard the story. "And then?"

"Then last year she returned, came back to the village. We were surprised, me mostly. But she was still put up on sending me to Hell. She was angry and full of vengeance. She blamed me for everything that happened in the mean time, but she wouldn't speak about it openly. It took me almost a year, whole year to convince her to help me. It wasn't easy." Inuyasha sighed, remembering how much it lasted for Kikyou to change and accept the fact that Inuyasha and Kagome are now mates.

"So with the time she understood that she could never have me back. Something broke inside of her and she changed. I was really stunned by it. And she offered her help in the end. So now I'm here. I'm here..." At this he got up and hugged her again, and seconds passed before he felt her melting in his hands. He was relieved that she wasn't angry anymore.

"The fight we had..." He started again, but she raised her hand and put two fingers on his lips, hushing him. Her eyes now spoke of forgiveness and also regret that the fight ever happened. They could have been happy for seven years, yes they could have.

"Don't. I think it's time we stop talking about the past. We need to talk about the future." He nodded, agreeing with her decision and deciding to go over the fight and everything else. He cupped her face in his large hands gently and carefully not to harm her with his claws.

"What do you have in mind Koi?"

* * *

_How can you let me fall apart? _

_Then break my fall with loving lies._

_It's so easy to break a heart,_

_It's so easy to close your eyes.

* * *

_

Kagome bent her head down, she didn't think about it. She only prayed for him to come back to her, to love him again and hold him close. She never thought about what after, where would they live, would she go back with him, will he stay with her if she asked him?

"What do you want to do?"

Inuyasha knew now was coming the second part of the story. The part where he had made his live more live-able without her by his side. "I know only one thing. You need to know that I have a life back in the Sengoku Jidai. I've built a house near Kaede's village, Miroku and Sango too. The villagers are kind to me, to us all. I've lived there since you left, and although it tears my heart to ask you, I'm still going to plead you to go back to me."

Kagome looked up quickly. "Are you asking me to leave everything behind? To leave my family and my work? When we are at it, why didn't you say anything that day? Why didn't you..?"

"I don't know. I wanted to see you reaction to the story, to hear your opinion. I didn't know if you remarried, like you say in your time, taken another mate and had a happy new life."

Tears broke the damp again. Didn't he trust her? "How could you even think of that?! I love you Inuyasha, and I never, ever thought of having another man by my side. Never!!"

"I'm really sorry for doubting you love, but I just... I don't know what I was thinking."

They both shut up, silence surrounding their forms in the middle of the living room. They stood, at arms length, thinking hard about what next to say and not to get angry to each other, or cry. Kagome didn't stand this waiting so she opened up first.

"Oh Inuyasha! Why life didn't support us... Does it mean we were never meant to be?"

He looked at her like she has gone mad. Where did she get that crazy idea?

"Kagome... Don't think that way. I know we are meant to be or else you would have never traveled through time. I just know, we are right for each other."

Kagome smiled, now realizing the oldness in his eyes. Her sweet, grumpy Inuyasha has grown up, really truly grown up. She felt proud at him, but the question about her living her life here still brought doubt and and a forlorn sense of an odd despair.

"There's something else you should know Koi. I need to go back. I'll leave the decision to you, and you alone. I won't put pressure on you, I really don't want to. If needed I'll come to your time, you just need to send me a note through the Well. But I must go back, now."

Fear gripped at her senses and she clutched his hands, desperate in the try to hold him here. "Kagome, you need to let me go. Please. Everyone is waiting for me..."

"No! I need you! I want you here with me!" She pleaded with his and hers reason, terror spreading though her veins in a destructive manner, her heart terrified she will lose him again. "What if...?"

His lips came down on hers with such speed she was left breath taken. How long it has been since he had kissed her like this... So much time has passed since she felt his love in this kind of a soul shattering kiss that bonded them together, that melted the time differences between them, the kiss that made all the bad things go away...

* * *

_How can you treat me like a child? _

_Yet like a child I yearn for you._

_How can anyone feel so wild?_

_How can anyone feel so blue?

* * *

_

Her defenses crumbled down, heart eyelids fluttered closed and her cheeks were painted pink, since she felt like a teenager again. She was happy in that one moment. Then as soon as it started, it was over and she could only hear him whisper softly goodbye before he went out in a blur of motions. But she didn't feel abandoned, not for a second. That crazy happiness circled her in a mist and stubbornly refused to let go.

**End of flashback**

****

So now she was sitting here and thinking about her actions. What was she supposed to do? She didn't want to live in solitude anymore, she had enough of loneliness, the mornings cold and empty without her love, her heart damned to suffer... She had enough. She rose from her seat and went upstairs to her room, numb like before, but not in the same way. This numbness she felt was a pleasure-full one, one that promised something good, which was odd.

She questioned her sanity and even contemplated visiting a doctor herself, to check if she was all right. But she laughed at that idea. What kind of a doctor for the soul was she if she couldn't cure herself from craziness?

* * *

_This is the closest thing to crazy _

_I have ever been._

_Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen._

_This is the nearest thing to crazy_

_I have ever known._

_I was never crazy on my own._

_And now I know_

_That there's a link between the two,_

_Being close to craziness, and being close to you

* * *

_

She let her body fall on the bed and before she knew it tears streaked down her cheeks. She started sobbing loudly and pressed a pillow to her mouth to quiet her sobs. She knew her decision the moment he asked her and now she gave permission to her sorrow to wash over her in waves. But the pain behind it became intolerant. What would she say to her mother? To her brother? Would they understand and let her go? She lied there on her back crying, tears rolling down following the fine line of her eyelids and going down to her ears. Then she cried quietly, the sobs passing away, but her frame shook with the troubles brooding in her mind.

Finally, the tears stopped and she plucked up the courage to get up and looked out through the window of her room. She was exhausted and the day was ending. It was time to do something. She told herself it was time to move and get in action. She changed in a rush and all but ran downstairs, straight to the kitchen. There she saw her mother sitting at the very same spot she was in minutes ago. She didn't even hear her come in.

Her mother turned and read all from her face. A sad smile adored her a bit old face, and for a moment strong wave of loneliness tightened in her that she had to grip the edge of the fridge not to fall down. Her mothers face now showed worry, but Kagome straightened up.

"Mom..."

Bekka got up and walked to her daughter. She knew, she has always known that if Inuyasha ever found a way to come, she was to lose her daughter immediately. She also knew the time will come for her to let go. So she kissed Kagome's forehead, gently in a way only known to mothers and smiled. One word spoke it all for both of them.

"Go."

* * *

_And being close to you

* * *

_

Kagome felt on the verge of tears again, and dumbly asked herself how much did she cry in these past two days. She had no idea. She kissed her mother back on the cheek, her mouth whispering many thank you's, and left the house not once turning back. Her legs carried her right across the yard to the Well, the path well known and implanted in her memory. If needed she would know how to get there blindfolded. But arriving there she stopped, that fear and sorrow reappearing again in her whole body.

Was she doing the right thing?

Then one thought of a life with Inuyasha filled her with happiness and she felt surprised by it. She felt warm and light headed. But that was all right. It was good to feel like that, after all this years. Her life sometimes gave her a feeling like she was in ferie wheel that never stopped on a good place. But climbing on the rim of the Well and looking down, she could swear she felt luck was smiling up to her face. She knew that the first thing she would see would be Inuyasha's happy face and once, just this one time she would let her self believe in all that stuff about second chances.

After all, she got her second one and who was she not to use it when it presented itself in the reach of her arm?

* * *

_And being close to you . . .

* * *

_

**THE END**

****

_AN: That's it folks! It's finally finished, although I'm not quite happy with it. I will leave it as it is for now, but when I find the time to go over it and give it one good make over I'll repost it._

_I thank you all for your kind words, they really meant a lot to me._

_For all of you who like happy endings, read my another story "The love of Sayonara". I love it very much and I'm very proud of it. Also there are two ideas in my bio for the next stories on Inuyasha. Check it out and see if you'll come back to read my stuff._

_Once again I THANK YOU VERY MUCH for sticking through this for me. And I apologize for all the strange formatting and wording, my native tounge isn't English. I hope you enjoyed._

_Love,_

_Anisa_


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